16th November-A lesson learned

Winter is a season I always cherish. It brings galore of happiness every time. But this time it started with a saddening note. A loss to me, moreover, my mum.

My uncle called at 2 P.M. The news of my granny’s demise had shaken me completely. I waited for my mum to finish her prayer. I still couldn’t believe what I heard, wondering how to break up the heart-rending news to her.

She was completely broken as I expected. All what she could do that time was grieving and sobbing. We couldn’t even see my granny’s burial. Mum blamed herself.

Nanu, I used to address my granny by that. She was of 75 years when she died. She wasn’t in good health. She lost a leg few years back due to some medical complications and was fighting with diabetes also, she quitted last night at 3 A.M. Before leaving she wanted to see us (me, my mum and my brother).

There were some major family problems we had due to which my mum completely stopped contacting my nanu since a year or two. Nanu yearned for us all these years but we had so many egos and guts that we never even thought of calling her. Brutal we were truly. And now my mum is moaning in pain for her loss. She regrets now for being a bad daughter. Honestly, it was not only my mum’s fault. She had to make a choice between her mother and her own children, she was a mother after all. I blame myself and the circumstance for all what happened.

Nanu is away from us and we couldn’t do anything now. Agony is mum can cry like hell in front of me but I can’t even shed a single tear in front of her, she won’t be able to swallow the pain if I break down. Rather I cry alone in a dark room.

The lesson nanu’s death taught us- Never keep your anger. It will only make you a loser. And your ego is the biggest enemy you will ever find in this earth.

I had many beautiful memories with my nanu. I was her closest grandchild. I will share those wonderful memories some other day. This is my first blog post dedicated to the wonderful lady me and my family just lost. May God bless you with heaven. We seek your forgiveness. You will always be in our hearts and our memories. Love you lots nanu and missing you today. Please don’t forget us, we won’t forget you.